


In the end it doesn't really matter

by PinkJasMink



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort Sex, How Do I Tag This, I don't know, I'm not sure haha, M/M, bottom Erwin!, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:04:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkJasMink/pseuds/PinkJasMink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Levi is just imagining it, but he feels like ever since Erwin lost his arm, he's been different. It's a feeling that haunts Levi at night and when Erwin opens his eyes with the moon still shining through the window, Levi doesn't know how to talk to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the end it doesn't really matter

**Author's Note:**

> Bottom Erwin week is here and did you really think I would miss it? I didn't have much time, but this I have!
> 
> So, day 4: missing arm.
> 
> ~~Also, I will upload another fic on Saturday and add the link here somewhere once it's uploaded :)~~  
> [Here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4220457) it is :3

Sometimes Levi still can't believe how much he misses they weight of two arms holding him at night. Erwin still holds him, but he changed in a way, and that's not only because he lost an arm. Levi can't really define it. Erwin is not sad or angry, but he's not really indifferent either. Maybe he's just harder, feels further away even though he holds Levi so tight at night.

He's still sweet and charming when he doesn't have to be the Commander in front of everyone, is still silent and brooding and secretive underneath. He's still Erwin, no less Erwin, just Erwin in a different way.

Maybe Levi is just imagining it. He tells himself that every night he spends with Erwin, tells himself that every morning when he uses the bathroom before him because Erwin doesn't seem very fond of sharing it these days.

Next to Levi, Erwin moves, just a subtle shift, but Levi notices anyway. He shifts with him, carefully, glancing over to the window where the moon will vanish soon. It's early, but neither of them sleep long, if at all, and Levi is not at all surprised when Erwin blinks his eyes open, the blue shining even in the dim light.

They're Erwin, just Erwin, and Levi reaches out to touch the man's cheek. Erwin's gaze flickers to Levi's face slowly, awake and alert, but he's smiling.

"Good Morning Levi."

Levi doesn't really know what to answer. He's been awake most of the night, thinking and he can't seem to shake it off just yet.

"Erwin," he finally says, slowly rising. Erwin moves to the side to lie on his back, exposing himself to Levi naturally. They're still naked from the night before and when Levi's shifts his skin brushes Erwin's. It didn't change and Levi likes the feeling, so he moves some more, straddling his legs over Erwin's abdomen to be as close as he can right now. Erwin smiles up at him, his arm moving to hold Levi's waist, stump twitching. The hand on Erwin's cheek falls to his shoulder to massage the skin softly and the stump lies still and relaxed.

"What is it?" Erwin eventually asks, everything about him unchanged. Levi's lips twitch, but he doesn't feel like smiling, so he doesn't care to try.

"You're scratchy," is finally what comes to Levi's mind and he brushes his hand back along Erwin's neck to his jaw, feeling out the stubble Erwin hasn't cared to shave off for a day or two. He's looked worse, but Levi rubs over the hairs like they're a nuisance. Erwin remains unimpressed.

"I'll shave it off later," he promises, neck straining when Levi runs his thumb over the skin right underneath his chin, the stubble hard against his thumb. He brushes Erwin's jaw with his other fingers, imagining the soft skin underneath. Erwin was always so good with that, shaving himself, his face always smooth showing his sharp features uncovered, but it's been a while. Nowadays, he seems to have trouble with it, hasn't yet gotten used to do it with one hand. Sometimes Levi hears him curse in the bathroom, but he always ignores it. It's unlike him, in a way, but Levi feels like he's just not supposed to say something.

"Is it bothering you that much?"

Erwin's voice cuts through Levi's thoughts and he moves his gaze from Erwin's jaw to his eyes. He looks awake, not at all like he just woke up, but Levi isn't surprised. He shrugs and Erwin smiles, but it looks so fake somehow. Levi wonders if, deep down, Erwin is a little insecure now. He hasn't changed, but he's different.

"You're different," Levi finally says, the words like a deep breath he was meaning to take for weeks. Erwin's expression doesn't change, he just rubs his thumb over Levi's hipbone, slowly, carefully.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know." Levi snorts quietly, shifting, his skin brushing Erwin's when he straightens his back. He sits down after all, skin pressing against skin and he tingles a little with the knowledge that Erwin's cock is not far from his ass. It's soft now, but it's enough.

"You're just different."

"I'm not."

Erwin's smile turns into a smirk like he read Levi's thoughts, thumb caressing the skin around Levi's hipbone a little harder. Levi doesn't mind, moves one hand along Erwin's arm to cover the hand that holds him.

"You are," Levi affirms. "And you know it."

"Hm." The smile is back on Erwin's lips, just a soft curl and the hand falls from Levi's waist to his thigh. Erwin just lets it rest there and Levi watches him silently till he speaks.

"Well I'm just a wounded soldier now," he says and Levi gets it. Erwin didn't change at all, nor is he any different.

Levi doesn't say anything, just bows down to seal Erwin's lips with his own. Erwin sighs, but moves against him, his hand moving to stroke Levi's back. It's soft but firm, like the night before and Levi pushes into the touch, not breaking the kiss. Erwin's lips are gentle and warm and Levi sighs to the feeling of them against his own. Under him, Erwin shudders briefly and Levi smiles when his hands move over his bare chest, feeling out the skin Levi touched just last night. His fingerprints are still on it, but Levi rubs them into the flesh again anyway, circling Erwin's nipples with his thumb till he groans. When their lips part, Levi pulls back, licking his own with his eyes on Erwin, heavy and demanding and Erwin doesn't seem to mind. They still have time till the sun starts to rise, there's no need to wait another day.

Erwin's eyes shine when Levi meets them and his smile is more genuine now, more in the moment. It's almost a little hazy already, anticipating and Levi can practically feel the heat starting to rise in Erwin's body.

"You want to do it again?" Erwin asks, his hand squeezing Levi's ass. Levi sucks in a breath through his nose, hands firmly on Erwin's shoulders.

"No," he answers, just out of a sudden impulse. "I wanna do you."

It's been forever, really, since Levi took Erwin. It used to happen more often, but they just didn't have time for much preparation these past weeks and, despite Erwin's quite impressive size, Levi is just much more used to taking him than the other way around. They enjoy both things equally, it just rarely happens.

"Huh..." Erwin huffs and Levi sees something in his eyes he can't quite define, but it's gone before he can think about it.

"Okay."

Back arching, Levi leans down to kiss Erwin again, tasting the small word, trying to figure out what sounded so weird about it. Levi doesn't find his answer, but he finds passion in the kiss, small sounds echoing from their lips when Erwin returns the movements devotedly. His hand seems all over Levi's back, big and strong and warm and Erwin doesn't fail to squeezes Levi's ass again, though then just rubs down over his thighs. Levi doesn't mind, moves his own hands over Erwin's neck, along his torso down to his abdomen, circling his navel till the muscles there twitch. With a huff, Erwin tilts his head to the side to breathe and Levi does the same, licking his lips.

Once they caught their breaths, at least a little, Levi moves over Erwin, leaning sideways to snatch the oil from the bedside table, still standing there from the night before. He shifts some more with the flask in his grip to sit between Erwin's legs rather than over him and Erwin obliges easily, making room for Levi to kneel on the sheets.

Brushing Erwin with his gaze, Levi sees his cock half-hard against his abdomen, already huge and inviting and despite Erwin spreading his legs so obediently, Levi is suddenly more interested in his cock than what's between his cheeks. He catches Erwin's gaze for a second, holds it like they're silently communicating before he pours some oil onto his hand, flexing his fingers to slick it up nicely. Erwin watches the movements with heavy eyes, his throat bobbing when he swallows and Levi is tempted to smile at him, then again, he doesn't, instead moves his slick hand to Erwin's growing erection. Erwin twitches like he didn't expect it, lips parting in a silent gasp when Levi wraps his fingers around his shaft, rubbing off the oil.

"Can you even get it up again?" Levi asks, mocking in a way, but not only. Erwin parts his lips, probably to reply, but the words drown in a heavy breath when Levi rubs his thumb over the tip of Erwin's cock, the feeling smooth with the oil on Levi's hand. He can feel the heat growing under his touch, smiling after all when Erwin twitches in his hand, getting more interested. Levi hums, no mock left in his voice when he watches Erwin grow under his touch, listening to the sounds he makes when Levi moves his hand faster till the oil is not the only thing slicking up Erwin's length. It feels good in Levi's hand like that and he knows exactly where to rub, where to brush, licking his lips when the tip starts to leak pre-cum. The muscles in Erwin's abdomen are twitching and when Levi's gaze wanders up, he sees the man's eyes hazy and heavy, his lips parted when he groans and sighs his arousal into the air.

"Nice and hard," Levi mumbles, smirking a bit when Erwin looks at him. He looks stunning and Levi's own cock twitches between his legs. It's like a reminder and Levi slows his movements, searching for the oil again, fiddling with the flask till both of his hands are nicely slicked up. He nudges Erwin's legs with his knuckles, asking for more room and Erwin gives it to him, shifting so perfectly that Levi has no problem bringing one hand to the crevice between his cheeks. The other hand curls back around Erwin's shaft, moving lazily when Levi concentrates on the muscle he finds between Erwin's cheeks, the flesh hot but reluctant to ease when Levi rubs it with his finger. He's patient, rubbing Erwin's cock to distract him, but Erwin is not so easily distracted.

"Relax," Levi huffs, more a plea than a demand and finally, he smiles a little, somewhat reassuring, though he's not sure why. Nevertheless, it seems to help, Erwin exhaling a heavy breath before he drops his head on the pillows, relaxing enough for the tip of Levi's finger to slip inside. Erwin gasps quietly, cock twitching and Levi gives him a moment to get used to it before he slowly twists his wrist, moving the finger inside. Erwin loosens up more and Levi pushes forward slowly, brushing Erwin's insides till he gasps again.

"It's been a while," Levi mumbles, with no particular emotion, definitely feeling the tightness around his finger. He isn't sure if it's just the fact that it's been a while, or the fact that Erwin seems a little reluctant, though Levi can't think of a reason that would support the thought. And then it's gone anyway, because Erwin relaxes more, Levi fingers pushing in deeper without much pressure. Erwin moans quietly with it and Levi just moans with him, his own skin crawling with arousing anticipation.

Once Erwin took two fingers, Levi eases his hand off his cock to push it against his inner thigh instead, stroking the skin while he moves his fingers inside. Erwin is gasping quietly, neck strained with his face towards the ceiling. He's quivering, but keeps his legs spread for Levi, his cock twitching untouched against his abdomen. Levi watches it in turns with his fingers disappearing in Erwin's heat that gets softer with every little stroke. Levi relishes it, fingers searching for Erwin's prostate with his eyes on his cock, the string of pre-cum that slowly oozes out of the tip to land on the jumping muscles on Erwin's abdomen.

" _Hah- Levi!_ " Erwin's cock twitches, his body shaking when he lifts his hips from the sheets, the sound that follows almost a messy moan. He doesn't look at Levi, but his hand comes down, searching for Levi's on his thigh. Levi meets him halfway, knotting fingers with Erwin when he repeats the movement from just seconds ago, Erwin's moan louder this time.

"Ah..." Levi smiles darkly, body shivering with the sweet sounds Erwin makes and he squeezes his hand when he pushes right into that spot that makes Erwin twitch and moan another time. Levi could listen to it for hours,his grip on Erwin's hand tight when his urge to make Erwin come like this grows. He could just keep going, maybe lean down and lick all that sweet wetness from Erwin's abdomen, swallow his length till he can't hold it back any longer.

" _Levi_ ," Erwin gasps, fingernails digging into Levi's hand. " _Enough_ ."

It's like the words jostle Levi awake and despite the temptation making him prickle when he has his eyes on Erwin's cock like this, he pulls his fingers back slowly, though only to press a third against Erwin's muscle. It slips when Erwin moans and Levi has to bite his lip, breathing heavy through his nose. Erwin is tight around his fingers again, his hot insides twitching and clenching, but he doesn't seem to be in pain, moans and shakes with his cock still leaking, so Levi pushes forward slowly, eager to stretch enough for him to fit.

Erwin seems more relaxed now, opening up easier around Levi's fingers, head still tilted back but his noises are clear now, like he doesn't care to hold them back any longer. Levi shivers with it, breathing hard with his own cock almost aching to be touched. And then finally, Erwin talks to him again.

"Enough." He sounds a little breathless, squeezes Levi's hand another time before he lets go, the arm falling onto the mattress like it's useless. "Levi."

" _Erwin_."

Levi gasps back, just can't hold it any longer and after a few more movements of his fingers that make Erwin twitch, he pulls them out carefully, adjusting his position when he finally touches his cock. It's hot and wet in his hand and Levi strokes it generously when he looks for the oil. The flask lies on the sheets, the last bit of moonlight reflecting on the glass, but Levi has no mind to pay much attention to it, grabbing it hastily to pour some more onto his hand, rubbing the liquid over his cock afterwards to slick it up.

Finally, Erwin's eyes find Levi's again, the colour deep and dark with arousal, some unsaid words behind the fog. Levi wants to ask, but Erwin moves his hips, gasping, begging with need and Levi forgets it. He breathes heavy in return, aligning his hips with Erwin's, holding his cock when he guides it between his cheeks. Erwin exposes his neck when Levi's tip presses against his muscle, swallowing hard when it starts to slip. Levi watches him, both hands on Erwin's thighs once the head his cock found the tightness of Erwin's insides, jaw agape when he sees every little twitch of Erwin's muscles, feels it in the quivering heat he slowly dips into.

"Give me a second," Erwin gasps, Levi maybe half-way inside and despite how hard it is to stop now, with Erwin's heat so perfectly inviting, Levi keeps his hips still, groaning when his eyes flutter to the pleasurable feeling. For a moment, all they do is breathe heavy, Erwin shaking a little under Levi before he slowly relaxes. With every second, the urge to move grows in Levi, but he manages to contain it, taking deep breaths till Erwin gives him the okay to continue.

"Now," is all Erwin says, the words quiet, his voice shaking and Levi opens his eyes to look at him before he drives his hips forward slowly. Erwin's jaw drops in a gasp and his head falls back onto the pillows, throat bobbing with every little movement of Levi's hips. It's hard, it really is, but Levi goes slow, taking a short break here and there, pulling back till Erwin eases up and then it's enough, both of them panting heavily when their hips touch, bodies connected.

Erwin looks unusually, but beautifully shy, eyes closed with his head tilted back in a way that makes Levi think he doesn't want him to see his face. It's a shame, so Levi just grinds his hips against Erwin's slowly, yet steadily, leaning forward so one hand can search for Erwin's.

"Look at me," he demands, but Erwin just twitches, hand shaking when Levi finds it.

"Look at me," Levi says again, softer this time and then, Erwin obliges. He moves his head enough for Levi to see his face, eyes fluttering when he opens them and Levi rubs his hands with his thumb when he catches the whole of Erwin's expression. His cheeks are red with heat and probably something else, reluctant passion in his eyes and Levi hates how he can't figure out what the man is thinking. It's like he wants this, then again, doesn't.

"You're beautiful Erwin," Levi tells him, mind dizzy with arousal when his cock throbs buried in Erwin's heat, begging Levi to move. Erwin twitches to the words, insides clenching and Levi gasps, hips shaking. He wants to move so bad, but he doesn't want it when Erwin isn't sure about it and despite the way he told Levi it was enough, that he wanted it, Levi can't shake the feeling off something's wrong now. But finally, Erwin's body reacts, his hips moving against Levi intentionally, gaze heating up to the friction.

"Move Levi," he says, whispering it, but the words are so strong that Levi just does. He pulls back only to push forward again, moaning when Erwin does and suddenly it's okay, easy. Erwin is relaxed, squeezing Levi's hand when Levi finds a rhythm, moving his hips with Erwin joining him. It's slow, almost lazy, their noises quiet but like this, it's easier to keep looking at Erwin's face. Erwin looks back at Levi, eyes heavy but locked with his and Levi brings the hand he's holding to his face to kiss the skin softly, admiring Erwin in a way he feels like he hasn't for too long. Erwin moans to the touch, fingers flexing till Levi lets go of his hand.

"Am I still enough?" Erwin suddenly whispers, his voice accompanied by their quiet moans and gasps, the sound of their bodies moving against each other and he brushes his fingertips over Levi's cheek like he's afraid to touch it. Levi got it already, that Erwin didn't change, but just now he seems to realise, what the problem was. He was the problem all along, expecting Erwin to prove himself when there was no need to, expecting Erwin feel insecure about his loss when Levi was the only one feeling like it mattered. But it doesn't and Levi nuzzles his face against Erwin's hand, craving the touch. Erwin gives it to him naturally, hand cupping Levi's face and it's like an apology when Levi presses his palm against that hand, tilting his head so he can kiss Erwin's fingers, whispering his words against the skin.

"You're still my Commander Erwin," Levi says, with devotion that comes as natural as Erwin's fingers on his skin.

Erwin doesn't reply to the words, but suddenly all the reluctance seems to be gone and Levi feels him squeezing around his cock, surely on purpose, Levi gasping to the sensation.

"Move," Erwin says, demanding again, not giving Levi a second to catch his breath, but Levi has no problem doing what he's told. He quickens his pace, hand falling to Erwin's hips so he can hold him there, finding a faster rhythm. Erwin moans, louder, his hand falling too to grip Levi's arm, fingers digging encouragingly and finally Levi can focus completely on what they're doing, worries gone from his mind when he drives himself deep into Erwin's body, groaning deep into his chest with the pleasure it makes him feel. Erwin groans with him, joining Levi's rhythm easily and it doesn't take much longer till Levi feels ready to blow. He casts his eyes down to Erwin's cock, the tip weeping, leaving wetness all over the jumping muscles of his stomach and Levi eases one hand off Erwin's hips to curl it around his length instead. Erwin gasps when Levi rubs the head of his cock, moans when he starts to move his hand in synch with his thrusts, the twitching heat around Levi's own cock telling him Erwin is just as close as he is.

"That's it," Erwin groans shamelessly, the grip on Levi's arm surely bruising when he starts to writhe, hips bucking, loosing rhythm, but Levi keeps his, driving Erwin towards his orgasm relentlessly. When Erwin's cock twitches in Levi's hand with the man's orgasm, his insides clenching, whole body trembling, it's even more pleasurable than the sex itself and Levi moans with him, working his hand on Erwin's cock till he's spent, keeping his thrusts steady for the man till he's satisfied, only then allowing himself to embrace his orgasm too. He moans deeply, shuddering, Erwin shivering with him when he comes. It lasts for a moment and then Levi slumps a little, satisfied, sizzling with the aftermath of his orgasm and all he can do is pant, almost in synch with Erwin under him.

When Levi finally moves again, it's to pull out and throw himself onto the mattress next to Erwin, Erwin moving immediately to curl his cooling body around Levi. And then they just lie there, cooling off, calming down, not a single thought on Levi's mind.

They don't talk afterwards, just share a few lazy kisses till the sun rises, the first rays of dawn peeking through the window. They move together then, untangling their bodies from each other, rising from the bed to move to the bathroom. It's small, but has more than enough space for both of them to fit and Levi feels relieved. He helps Erwin to clean himself up and Erwin helps him, even though it really isn't necessary. When they're done, they kiss again and Levi manoeuvres Erwin to the small stool that stands next to tub, pushing him down.

"Your stubble is terrible," he says, thumbs scratching over the hairs on Erwin's cheeks. Erwin smiles faintly, eyes shining when he looks up at Levi like this.

"I told you I will shave it off."

"Let me do it."

Levi just offers it, stands unmoving with his hands on Erwin's face, voice soft with question. Erwin seems to think about it, openly surprised for a moment, but then he relaxes, smiling softly before he nods.

"Okay."

Levi nods back, brushing Erwin's cheek gently another time before he moves away, searching the shelf under the sink for everything he needs for shaving. Erwin waits for him, patiently, sits unimpressed when Levi covers the stubble with shaving cream, strains his neck when Levi brings the blade to his skin. Admittedly, Levi never shaved anyone beside himself before, but it doesn't make much of a difference. He's careful anyway so it takes a while, but Erwin is patient with him, lets Levi do his work with closed eyes and a small smile on his lips.

When Levi is finished, he rubs Erwin's face clean with a towel, bringing his hands to the skin afterwards to feel it, to see if he missed a spot, but it's perfectly smooth now and Levi ends up admiring the form of Erwin's face till Erwin blinks his eyes open.

"Better?" he asks and Levi nods.

"Better," he says, leaning down to kiss Erwin. "Commander."

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this started with me wanting to write Levi shave Erwin haha I don't know  
> Special thanks to [erwins-bara-tiddies](http://erwins-bara-tiddies.tumblr.com/%20) the first person that even told me about the challenge! <3  
>  ~~Also, there will be another contribution for the bottom Erwin week from me! I will post it on Saturday, stay tuned, it's something I promised to write a while ago ;)~~  
> [Here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4220457) it is :3  
>  In the meantime you can check out my [tumblr](http://pinkjasmink.tumblr.com) if you want and yeah :)


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